The concept of payoff is relatively new to me on my journey but a huge a-ha! one, I have to say. I’m learning more about payoff in my life every day. I see it a lot in my client’s lives too!
I’m witnessing more about how I hang onto my old patterns because there is a hidden benefit in continuing to live that way.
This isn’t just around food. As I deepen my meditation and other practices, I notice changes in the way I act and react in the world. And I notice how this sometimes affects my nearest and dearest.
I remember coming back from my yoga teacher training programme in India full of the joys of yoga, healing and ready to save the world! In the end, I had to take a step back and integrate steadily, gracefully and more humbly, what I had learned and wanted to teach.
There were so many times I felt that it would be easier if I just went back to the old me. You see there was a payoff to staying in the depression and grief I had before I committed to a lifetime of holistic practice. The people around me knew who they were dealing with!
Sometimes we crawl back into our old ways, without even realising it. Go back to where we came from, avoiding ruffling any feathers or upsetting anyone.
I did write a little about it in my book.
But I have more to share with you, as always!
And it’s extremely important stuff!
Introspection Is Important!
When we think that we want to change, and growth doesn’t seem to come, we often need to look at why we might still want to stay the way we are. When the payoff is worth hanging onto.
There are a few possibilities here:
- The unconscious mind just wants you to be safe. It has a mantra at its core “Better the devil you know” It often sees change, growth, and evolution as a possibility for danger.
- You may have been dieting long enough to be part of a community of dieters, have a circle of friends who are always on a diet. To overcome emotional eating would mean that you don’t have so much in common with them anymore. The subconscious mind wants you to be part of a community. It’s how we’ve evolved!
- You are known as the bubbly or jolly one. I had a friend who was known as the bubbly one. She was so-called because of her personality but also because of her size. She felt that if she changed her size, she would not be known as the bubbly one anymore.
- Your mind is so full of diets, food planning, analysis, calorie-burning and so on. If you were to give up emotional eating, what would you have left to think about? As an emotional eater, all the planning and organising to you may be the one positive aspect of your thinking around food.
What Do You Believe?
- Overeating is your escape. Your life sucks at times. You use food to numb your pain. I’ve used chocolate bars, cheese, baguettes, crisps, fries. It’s a big risk to think that you can’t go to these foods for comfort when life deals you a shit hand
- You’ve labelled certain foods (like the ones above) to be bad. In times of anger (whether frustration, rag, disappointment etc) you just want to say f**k it to the world and have a rebellion. Rebellion seems to give you your power back for a while. Without being able to binge bad foods, you’ll have your power taken away.
- Maybe you have a partner who is also an overeater. Your social life revolves predominantly around food. Maybe you are a similar size, enjoy similar foods in quantities which keep you at a certain size and state of health. If you were to change to making healthier lifestyle choices, it might change the dynamics of your relationship.
So what’s the answer? How do we stop the “one step forward and two steps back” scenario?
Two Steps To Freedom
There are just TWO steps to freedom and are given as the keys to BodyMAGIC! in my book:
To Know Yourself and
To Know Your Worth
- Look at the list above and consider the possible advantages to continuing the cycle of emotional or binge eating. This is knowing you and the payoffs to staying where you are.
- Develop practices which create lasting change. Focus on those which are going to increase your self-worth. To experience all of the benefits that you truly deserve. This is Knowing Your Worth.
All of the possible downsides to overcoming emotional eating listed above are based on one thing –
The only thing that makes fear disappear is
Love for yourself.
To give yourself love easily and willingly, you have to know, deep within your soul, that you are worth it!
If you would like to explore these concepts with Chinmayi’s guidance, support and care, first get in touch and explore whether you’re truly ready to overcome emotional or binge eating or whether there is a payoff to staying the way things are. Book a free 30-minute Breakthrough Session HERE.