Balance Ye Not!
I am reminded of the balance that we strive for when we are stressed and feel our emotions flowing out of control.
For years I have battled with creating the perfect work-life balance. A life where I get just enough work and just enough home life into my day, week and month. A little time in the day for each and everything. A neat orderly life where everything has, not only a place, but a time also.
Even writing this makes me dream of the bliss that balance might bring!
A few weeks ago, I had a HUGE learning!
Wait for it…
A life of balance is a MYTH!
No wonder I could never find it!
Sorry folks, but after all that time you have been striving to find it, it was never there at all!
You see just like the equinox, it is a fleeting moment. You can breathe for thirty seconds in a Tree Pose and find balance. Your mind empties and for that moment you feel balanced. But Tree Pose, like all poses is a counter-balance on the wider holistic level. Yoga is a counterbalance you see. You are practising yoga to balance out other aspects and energies in your life. And this is good.
Why do we strive for the elusive balance?
There is a set point that we want to return to. It is a set point where we are able to rest without mind chatter, eat and digest healthily, work efficiently and communicate effectively. It is the place where we feel comfortable and safe. Our body and mind will constantly try to bring us back here, if we listen of course! Yoga and meditation help that communication beautifully.
But there is a huge upside to being out of balance. A time to ignore the whispers. It’s mindfully moving away from that set point. It’s what we all know as being out of our comfort zone. The mind will tell us ‘it’s not safe’ and we will feel that imbalance. With every cell in our body, including our brain, we’ll want to stay close to the balance set point. But here’s the thing…
Extraordinary things happen when we move out of our comfort zone. When we do it mindfully. Giving ourselves permission. When that intuition for greater things for ourselves is so overwhelming.
We then throw routine to the wind, feel the fire of fear and drown ourselves in the waters of possibilities. And we know, deep down, that we are safe always. It’s the behaviour and mindset of the child we once were. Before we were taught about all of the unsafe things in the world. All the warnings of what might happen.
In these waters of possibilities, we find clarity and peace. Like a child we are no longer watching the clock, we are in a trance of creativity, playfulness and magical things can happen.
I’ve seen this working so brilliantly in my life and work. Here are some examples of pushing out of the balance of the comfort zone from my life and my brave healing clients:
– Running a marathon when told by a doctor that she should stop running altogether
– Writing a book when hearing echoes from her past that she should go and get a ‘proper’ job
– Returning to university at age 60, just because she always wanted to study Art
– Finally forgiving a relative for her childhood abuse so that she can live the life she deserves
– Healing from a long-term back injury which transpired was an event where he felt unsupported
– A cutting ties ceremony to break free from the heartbreak of a divorce
– Being able to see the positive learnings from a mentally-abusive relationship
– Instead of trying to ignore it, finding a beautiful way to nurture a difficult relationship with a mother-in-law
– Overcoming addictions including- cigarettes, sex, food, drugs (recreational AND prescribed), abusive relationships, dieting
I could go on for hours! All of these require courage and a willingness to go way beyond what the body and mind know as balance.
In doing so we have let go of anger, fear, grief, guilt and sadness. However, in doing so, we have found forgiveness, acceptance and guess what…
And the set point moves. The mind realises that it’s OK to journey these new paths and that they inevitably lead to that balance point, your place of peace.
If only for a brief moment.