When it’s time for a self-retreat

For some years now, since I left the corporate world after a breakdown/breakthrough, I’ve been trying to live differently, think differently and work differently. I’ve followed gurus, teachers, read books, listened to books, attended and downloaded more courses than I dare to count. I’ve done a yoga retreat in Egypt and walked up to the top of Mount Sinai, a 4-day fasting vision quest in Nepal overlooking Everest, drank ayahuasca in the Amazon and learned an unexpected lesson or two, learned how to connect with Spirit through a 2-year shamanism course, to heal anyone who is ready and so much more.

Still, I’m not there.

OK, I know what you’re thinking, I get it…

1. Life is a journey and we are never really ‘there’ until we are ready to go back to where we came from.
2. That I’ve done amazingly well. I’ve overcome addictions, given up a stress-laden corporate career, changed my priorities, written my heart out on paper, run a marathon when the doctors told me my knees were no good, lived abroad and learned another language, saved the lives of seven newborn puppies, walked 500 miles across northern Spain and so much more.
3. I am having a blessed and vibrant life. 

So what the HECK is missing?

Like my corporate life before, I have still been missing the point, losing the plot and running about like a headless chicken. Instead of material gains, in this phase of my life, I’ve been craving and savoring external experiences. Sure I’ve had moments of pure bliss, thousands of them.

But shit has still mattered where it shouldn’t really and I’ve felt trapped and lonely at times.

What’s missing is accessing real peace, faith in the future and probably some extra confidence to go forward.

Logic tells me that it should be a cinch because it’s natural! I already know that external experiences are unlikely to direct me to what’s happening on the inside. Though some of mine have, I can’t deny.

Then there is the most powerful law of the Universe, the Law of Attraction. Definitely a subject for another post. But in short, when we live in fear, worry, disappointment and/or frustration, then that’s exactly what we receive more of.

So what am I doing about it all now? Well…

I have surely been on enough courses and have enough resources – audios, videos, books, programs to support me. So I don’t think another one of any of those is going to hold the key.

For some time, I’ve wanted to retreat, build and deepen my yoga practice and really dive into some of the methods that I offer to my clients as a part of an intensive retreat. So this retreat will be self-directed. I don’t need to experience anything new, learn anything else. I just need to encompass everything I already know into a practice.

How will I ensure that I get results?

I’m quick enough to encourage others to come on retreat with me, follow my posts and support my work. What I’ve realised is that when they don’t results, it’s either because:

1. I haven’t empowered or tasked them to do the work for themselves and practice being in the world a different way, or
2. They’re just not ready. Despite knowing what they’d like to do, be or have, it’s not a priority in their life or
3. They don’t value themselves enough to put themselves first (closely related to (2.) but not actually the same).
4. My visitors don’t integrate enough of the practices back into their everyday life, to make a big difference (which could be for any of the reasons 1-3).

This month, I can stamp my feet and say that I’m tasked, ready and self-caring to the extreme and it’s all intertwined with my work and other responsibilities too.

I’m so excited about this shift. Bring it on!

Stay tuned and please leave a comment below.

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Namaste

Chinmayi x